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Opus's Official Platform

Unlike the other candidates, I state my positions up front! 

Here is my official platform:

The State Budget Crisis:

We all know that the State of California is having financial difficulty.  So how do we solve the problem?  Some of the other candidates have proposed "sin" taxes on cigarettes and alcohol to make up for budget shortfalls.  I am not that stupid.  Even a cat knows that if you tax something usage will decline and therefore your estimated taxes will never appear.  My position is to tax all dog owners $500 per dog owned.  Everyone knows that people will not get rid of their dogs because of a tax.  Dog owners are just as loyal as their four legged friends so I'm sure they'll pony up the money for the "new dog tax".  I estimate that about 1/3 of Californians own dogs, so this small dog ownership tax will more than make up for the budget deficit.

Taxes:

I am against raising taxes.  (Other than taxes on dogs)  In fact one of my first actions as governor will be to offer a TAX REBATE to all cat "owners".  (I call them owners for convenience, really they are cat "servants")  Each cat owner will receive a $400 check for every cat they have in their household.  I am all for Cat Values!

Immigration:

I will make sure that the Chihuahuas, Siberian Huskies, and German Shepards are all stopped at the borders.  I will also insure that no more Siamese Cats are allowed into our great state.  I want to firm up our California borders.  I'm tired of seeing these "foreigners" come into our great state and steal our benefits!

Education:

 I am 100% percent behind educating the masses in California.  The Cat in the Hat will be my Superintendent of Education.  Every student in CA will be obligated to read the Cat in the Hat until they get their diploma.  American Cat History will also be taught in school right along side American Human History.

Terrorism:

I will put a stop to the Al-Kitty terrorist organization in California.  This will be my attorney general Mr. Bigglesworth first assignment.

Environment:

I have a great environmental record.  We need to keep our state covered with plants so us cats have some shade in the hot California summers.  As governor I will even offer tax incentives to golf courses to make more sand traps.